Dating during grief

It is very much in vogue today to encourage men to openly express their feelings, but in practice few men do so. Even in the face of tragic loss, many men in our society still feel the need to be self-contained, stoic and to express little or no outward emotion.The outward expression of grief is called mourning. Just concentrate on the words that are being shared with you.

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Dating during grief

By choice or by chance -- you have found yourself dating a man who is grieving the loss of his wife.

Take things slow, have personal boundaries, realize that grief is an individual process, and prepare for the cold shoulder from friends and family.

~ Turkish Proverb A reader writes: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death. At this point, I’m not sure how I am tolerating these very public displays of grief.

My husband died suddenly of a heart attack just a month after my companion’s wife died following a two-year battle with colon cancer.

I have been told that such public displays of mourning are indications of unresolved grief/guilt.

My sense is that this is true, which causes me concern not only for my health and that of the man I am dating but for our relationship as well.

Resist the urge, says Keogh, and let the man take the initiative to contact you and arrange dates.

If he is truly interested in a long-term commitment, he will make an effort to be with you.

Keogh recommends taking things slow with a widower, especially during the first few months of a relationship.

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